Simple Life isn't necessarily Simple to do

Well, maybe if you didn't have kids.  Or maybe if you had more money.  But the more I try and live like this, and just, honestly, the older I get, I think that things are challenging no matter what.  People have different things that challenge them and different isn't easier or harder - just different.

Anyway, so I'm trying to get the house cleaned and a bunch of other things done that need to be done before I start my full time job next Monday.  (EEK!)  And it has been harder than I thought it would be for a bunch of reasons.

1 - I am suddenly lazy.  No, really.  Now, it is a big effort for me to not just go back to sleep after I get the kids off to school.  I don't have to look for a job.  I don't have to watch any kids. The only thing I "have" to do is clean the house and get those projects done, and the world won't come to an end if I don't do it.  And so every day for the last couple of weeks, I've been way more unproductive than usual. 

2 - I don't know if I just hit my limit or what, but oh my, I am just beyond sick of doing laundry and the dishes! Laundry and dishes have never been my favorite jobs anyway - they are daily jobs and so I never really get that whole "Look at what I did!" feeling from the dishes and laundry, because there is always, always more to do. 

3 - That money thing. Again.  It is harder than usual for me to prioritize lately because of the change in income over the last couple months.  I just kept thinking that things were just on the verge of really changing - I was going to get that high-paying full-time job.  Or that long-term freelance gig was going to start. Or we were going to win Powerball or something. :) And none of that happened.  And I had that mini-break down and then almost instantly, got a full-time job offer.  But it doesn't pay that well.  And it starts right at the very beginning of summer.  So I've been stressing about money and then stressing about the fact that I'll be bringing in money, but is it going to be worth the time, given the amount I'll bring in? And sometimes, when I stress, especially about money, then I'm just sort of paralyzed.

4 - The busyness of the end of school has been expecially hard this year.  I'd be just getting into a project, and then I'd have to stop because I was going to have to take someone somewhere for some performance of some sort and then the whole rest of the evening would be taken up with that.  I mean, don't get me wrong - I'm happy to watch my kids do things, and they are very talented, and I've been a really proud mother lately, but it has been hard to get other things done in between.  Not to mention, just the scheduling alone for 3 kids during that last couple weeks has been crazy!

So I haven't felt all relaxed and happy as I've been doing my homemaking these days.  I haven't been stress-free as I've tried to eliminate the clutter in my home.  I don't have pretty pictures of my bread or my living room or my garden because I either haven't done or haven't had time to concentrate on doing any of it. 

I'm hopeful that the structure of the job gets me back in my rhythm.  I know that I love structure - and probably most of my problem in time/stress/organization management right now is that I don't have structure.  I guess I do better when I'm Simply Structured?? LOL

All right, I'm starting to panic a little now . . .

As soon as I get this job, then suddenly, it seems like all the blog posts/Facebook posts, etc. out there are suddenly talking about how wonderful it is to be a stay at home mom.

Not that I've truly been a stay at home mom much over the years.  I mean, I've been home with my children since 2003, officially.  But just me and the kids, and doing grocery shopping and playgroups and all that? Not that often.  In fact, the only time I can think of that it was just the three of us was when I took 3 months off teaching preschool when Super was born (he was born in the fall of 2004.) 

But I've been HOME for the past 9 years.  I've done preschool & daycare or training, but I was here.  I've been able to homeschool.  I've fixed breakfast, lunch and dinner every day.  I've been here to throw a load of wash in or to start the dishwasher during the day.  I've been here when my kids got off the school bus. I've been here if the nurse called and they needed to be picked up. I've been able to wear slippers all day if I wanted to.  Or yoga pants.  When the kids were napping or when we were homeschooling, and the older kids were occupied, I could have time to myself.  I could read, I could sew, I could crochet, I could do all sorts of things here at home.

Of course, it wasn't all roses and sunshine.  It was hard to juggle working from home and uh, anything else.  I often couldn't do any sort of errands during the day, and so it got pushed to evenings or weekends.  I often couldn't do things at the kids' school because I couldn't bring the other children with me.  It was expensive to feed 6, 7, 8, 9 children lunch 5 days a week, not to mention, there was the constant sweeping, straightening, washing that is required when you have a lot of young-ish children in the house.  And sometimes, even when I was just dealing with the house and my own three kids, in the evenings, on the weekends, it wasn't fun.  It was drudgery.  It was boring.  And sometimes, when I didn't know what to do in a situation, sometimes it was hard. I also didn't make that much money.  I told myself that it didn't matter.  I would have been home anyway, and I was making more money than I would have if it was just me and my children.  But it wasn't much.  And although most of the time I enjoyed it, it wasn't what I got my degree in.  It wasn't what I went back to school to get my masters in. 

And my Simple Life.  I'm nervous.  Am I still going to be able to maintain that sort of lifestyle when I'm not here during the day? When I have to squeeze in all the simple life between 5 pm and 8 am? What about all my plans for Simply Living In The City? Will I be able to bring my vision into a reality if I'm working full time?

And what about my kids? Will they be o.k. when I'm a phone call away instead of being able to just answering them when they ask me a question across the table? What will I miss by not being around them during the day this summer? How trashed will my house be at the end of the day now, and how will I instead be grateful that they had a good day and got along instead of being angry at having to pick up the house after a long day of work?

I wonder a little if I'm making the right decision, but yet, I also feel like I had to do it.  We really need the money right now.  And even if we didn't, this job could lead to a job doing writing. Doing training.  Doing things that I have my education in.  Doing things that I enjoy.  And making money so that I can turn some of my dreams for Simply Living In The City into a reality. 

I wish that we had enough money that I could stay home.  I'd still do the cleaning (but I swear I'd hire someone to keep up with the dishes and the laundry! LOL) but I'd work on Simply Living In The City a few hours a day.  That would be perfect.  But maybe it wouldn't.  I think that once you are a mom, very few situations are perfect.  It is really hard, no matter what your life is like, to be able to find that balance between being an involved parent and doing things that fulfill you personally. 

Ok.  I'm just going to have to take some deep breaths and hope for the best.  And let people help me when they offer.  And to let a few things go.  And also be willing to be open to other possibilities. And to realize that what is happening now, probably won't go on forever.  And to try and make the most of my time at home. To make sure that the things that are important to me - my family and living a simple life - are still important, no matter if I'm home all day or not. And to do my best to find that balance.

How things have changed in just two months -

Two months ago today, I closed Montgomery Academy. It felt like it was time. I was no longer homeschooling. I no longer had a child of my own that was preschool age. And running Montgomery Academy was making it difficult to be involved with my own children's lives and it was preventing me from developing my freelance business and Simply Living In The City.

So with sadness and excitement, I closed down Montgomery Academy.

Within days, I was contacted by a recruiter that wanted me to come work full-time as a technical writer for a large corporation in town. For a lot of money. I won't go into the details, but in the end, it didn't happen. But my big freelance project was set to start soon and I had lots to do for Simply Living In The City. Then the freelance project got held up. It was (and still is) green lighted, but no start date given. But hopefully would be soon.

So I went into April a little nervous, but feeling positive that things would work out. I went to lots of networking and entrepreneur events in April. I slept in a little in April. I did some things with my kids in April because I knew that things were probably going to be getting at least a little busier soon. But April came and went without a start date on the big project. And now I had gone two months without any income. We have always counted on me to contribute at least some to our income. And because I'm like this, by the end of April, I was in quite a panic about our drop in income.

And then, almost like magic, things happened. And as of May 21st, I'll be working full-time. Now it isn't all perfect but it is probably best case scenario. I can be home by 4. They will also allow me to work part-time when the freelance gig starts up. And while the job isn't in writing or training, it may lead to a job in that area in the near future. It does start at the beginning of summer vacation and that will complicate things for sure, but thankfully, Mr.Simple has more flexibility with his schedule now that he is self-employed. And I'm still going to work on Simply Living in The City on nights and Saturdays. I still have big plans for it. :)

Daybook: May 1st, 2012

I am thankful for… that this is the first thing on the Daybook because it is forcing myself to think about what I'm thankful for when I'm not feeling all that thankful today.  I'm thankful that I got to go on a walk with my family yesterday. 

At work… I'm trying to get some full or part-time work, so I'm meeting with (another) recruiter today.  But besides that, I'm doing a lot of work around the house, plus planting outside, and work on Simply Living In The City.

From the kitchen… I'm putting some chicken in the crockpot for dinner tonight. 

I am wearing… black pants, short sleeve blue shirt, black sweater and clogs.  Pretty impressive for 8:25, huh?

I am creating… my garden. Still.  I'm putting out a bunch of herbs today, plus I am putting mulch down in the beds. 

I am going… to the gym.  I'm on day 6 of an 84 day challenge.  I workout 6 days a week, and I try and eat mostly green vegetables and protein.  I'm doing pretty well so far, but I do miss my Diet Pepsi! 

I am reading… some magazines this week.  The most recent issues of Mother Earth News and Urban Farm. 

I am hoping… that someday, my children will stop bickering so much. 

I am hearing… the dishwasher.  I thought I turned it on to run last night, but I went to go get a dish out this morning and discovered that apparently, I didn't turn it on.

Around the house… Going to be a busy day around here.  I'm going to list the last of the preschool and homeschool stuff to sell online, clean the house, and try and clear out some of the clutter from the studio. 

One of my favorite things… is reading.  But I do have to make time for it these days, or it doesn't happen.  But I am past the stage, mostly, where I have to read a snippet here and a snippet there.  It was way harder to fit in any quality reading time when the kids were small, and I don't love the "snippet" form of reading.  I like to read for at least a half hour at a time, and if I schedule it, I can usually get at least that much in.

A warm rainy day . . .

It was so warm in March, it was hard to go back to more "typical" spring weather in April.  Not to mention, the kids had pulled out their shorts and put away their sweatshirts, and the shorts had to be put away again, and the sweatshirts had to be pulled back out. 

But typical Spring it has been since April started.  Maybe slightly less rainy than normal.  Maybe slightly less windy than normal.

I do like Spring.  I like that feeling of renewal.  I like seeing the lilacs and the tulips and the daffodils bloom.  I like to see the leaves come back on the trees. I like to plant spring gardens. I like the rain.  I don't love it when it is 40 degrees. Or below.  I don't love it when there are a few snow flurries mixed in with the rain.  I really don't love the mud and wet grass that gets tracked into my house.

But today, I like spring days like this.  It is warm, in the 60s probably, and just a light rain.  No wind.  The grass is very green.  The plants are all perked up.  And it is raining lightly enough that I can go on a walk to enjoy it. 

I'm lucky to live in a city that has a bike/walking/skating, etc. that covers much of the city and we live just a few blocks from an entry point.  Most of it is wooded and it is well-maintained.  I love to walk on it.  In fact, it makes me smile just thinking about it. 

And while I was writing this, I asked the family if they wanted to go on a walk on the trail.  They all said YES and off we went.  We walked to the downtown area - and stopped at one of the many restaurants there to grab a bite - one child, my most adventurous one, got a fully loaded hot dog (with tomatoes, olives, spicy peppers, pickles, etc.) while the other two opted for plain hot dogs.  I went for hummus.  YUMMY.  And then we walked back. 

It was mostly a lovely walk.  There was a little complaining - someone's leg hurt/was tired early on in the walk, and then someone complained about not getting to walk by Mommy as much as another child, and then another child complained about another child walking too close in front of her, but besides the small amount of complaining, it was very nice to get out and walk together on a lovely, warm, rainy day. 

Super, Mr. Simple, and our dog, Levon  (named after the Elton John song) as we started down the Trail

Mr. Simple, Levon, and Flower getting close to the downtown area.

The side of one of the buildings downtown.  Flower thinks it is so cool. 

We didn't eat here, but they serve great food.  The Garlic Press is also a local kitchen/specialty store.  One of my faves, for sure!

Another picture of some of the shops downtown.  It was originally a bank, but now it is a comic store, a record store, and a flower shop.

Jelly Bean jogging to catch up with Flower, and Super, Mr. Simple, and Levon are way ahead of them.

Breadmaking - the Simple Way

I had a bread maker early on in our marriage.  I used it several times right off, and then, I didn't use it much.  And then, I sold, I think in a garage sale, years and years ago. 

I made bread off and on over the years - by hand.  I generally used the white and whole wheat recipe from the Better Homes and Gardens cookbook (mine is the 1991 version LOL). 

And then when I started this Simple journey back in 2007, I started making bread from scratch more often.  And I'd also picked up a bread maker again, and I used that sometimes too.  I got my bread maker as a gift new, but I often see them at thrift stores, so if you want to try one, you might want to pick one up at a thrift store and see how often you use it before you invest in a new one.  Or you may like your thrift store one so much, you stick with that one!

And then a year or so ago, I decided to make bread most of the time.  (I also started grinding my own flour - no, I don't have my own wheat grinder, but I have friends who are willing to let me borrow theirs! And bread made with freshly ground flour? Divine!!!) But I figured that there had to be a simpler way to do it, besides just using the bread maker.  Plus, I didn't really like using bread that was baked in the bread maker.  I didn't mind the mixing in it, but I hated losing the last two inches because of the bread maker blade, etc. or the shape.

First, I experimented with mixing the dough in the bread maker but then removing the dough, kneading it a few times, and placing it in a bread pan to rise again before baking.  It worked like a charm! It was moist inside, and just the right amount of crust on the outside.  So this is how I make bread when I want to have a traditional looking loaf.  It requires less than 5 minutes work on my part - just putting the ingredients in initially and then turn it on, and then taking it out and doing a minute or two of kneading.  Simple!! (See my recipe for traditional white bread mixed in a bread maker here. Oh, and if you have a stand mixer, here is a easy recipe for traditional bread. )

Oh, and another thing, you just HAVE to make your own butter! It couldn't be simpler - all you need is a food processor and a pint of cream (and two tablespoons of yogurt or sour cream if you want cultured butter).  Homemade bread with homemade better.  Seriously, a slice of heaven, I'm telling you.  (See my tutorial for making butter here.)

But I also kept hearing about no-knead bread, and I had a cast iron dutch oven, and so I decided to try it.  And while I love making traditional bread, I think that no knead better is the BEST! And if it is possible, it is even easier than the bread maker version! You put the 4! ingredients in the bowl (flour, yeast, salt and water) and mix it for a minute.  Then you put a lid on the bowl and let it sit for 18 hours.  Then you knead it a few times, put it in a dutch oven/deep dish baker, and let it sit for another 2 hours.  Then you bake at 450 degrees for about 40 minutes, and voila! The best bread EVER! (See my no knead recipe here.)

We use the no-knead bread for everything, and I love to do add stuff to it (a little rosemary and onion powder; a little sun-dried tomatoes and rosemary; substitute a little wheat flour; whatever you want!)
But I think a couple of my kids recent favorite is using no-knead bread for panini sandwiches.  I recently got a grill pan and grill press, and I can whip up panini sandwiches for them in less than 10 minutes.  They are SO good!

Grilled cheese in the grill pan.  No knead white bread with homemade butter. 

Grilled cheese sandwich in grill pan with grill press on top.  The grill pan and grill press are from The Pampered Chef. 

Not exactly a professional food blog shot or anything,  And this child prefers that the grill lines on his sandwich not be too dark. 

Flower finishing up her sandwich. 

You might have noticed that I said a couple of the kids, when I have 3 kids.  There is a reason for that.  Jelly Bean has a gluten sensitivity.  So I make gluten-free bread for her.  I often make her brown rice bread, but we also try some of the specialty flours (that are also gluten-free!) like amaranth or quinoa or spelt. We've tried the gluten-free store bought bread, and not only is it incredibly pricey, it is much more crumbly, dry, and tasteless than my homemade gluten-free bread.   (See my recipe for brown rice bread here.)

I don't know if you noticed but

I took my blog  down for a couple of days earlier this week.  I've been thinking about this little blog a lot lately and what its purpose is.  (I do this about once a year or so.  LOL)

I've tried and tried to define it.  And I'll go for a little while in one direction, and I'll really like it, and then, suddenly, it all of sudden doesn't feel right.  Or I'll get all ambitious and say that I'm going to do something every day for the next X amounts of days, and I'll make it about four days and then something will happen, and I don't finish it. 

Or I'll only talk about simply living for awhile.  Or I'll only talk about my family for awhile.  Or I'll only talk about myself and my past for awhile. 

When I had it down, I was trying to decide if I even wanted to blog anymore.  And if I did, why was I doing it? Was I doing it for myself - as a record of our journey to live a more simple life? And if that was it, why was the blog public? So maybe I was trying to show how others could live a more simple life? But I knew I really wasn't doing that on this blog.  It's never really been a blog full of tutorial/how-to's/recipes/checklists, etc.  Maybe it was a photo album of sorts - things that I like to do, and pictures of the Simple Kids.  But if that was it, what about all the other posts? And again, why was it public?

And so I decided a few things in the past few days.  Mostly, the blog is going to stay the same.  But I am going to try and keep it a LITTLE more focused on our simple journey. LOTS less about my past, unless it really makes sense to add to something about our simple journey. And a LOT more pictures - pictures of all of us, doing what we do on a daily basis to live that simple life.  (And no, we still don't have a new camera, so I'll just have to take more and eventually get decent ones.  Hopefully sometime this summer I'll get a new camera.  Any recommendations for a good camera under $300?) Over the summer, I'll probably do some tweaking of the blog and move some of the more "personal" posts over to a private blog. 

And those checklists and tutorials and recipes? The things to help others live a more simple life that don't usually make it over here? Well, they'll show up somewhere - specifically, on my Simply Living In The City blog. 

I'm also adding some pages to this blog (they are still under construction, but hopefully will be ready by May 1st.) I'll have links to an About page, a Booklist page, Things that I like, and a Contact page.

And I'm going to try and write more.  I'm not going to promise anything specific - I think I've finally learned my lesson on that one.  But more.  More posts a month and just more regularly in general. 

I am going to keep it "real" though, at least on how we live are living our life.  We have changed a LOT over the past almost four years that I've been blogging here in terms of how we live a simple life.  We eat a lot more whole food, we garden.  I bake bread and make yogurt and butter.  I crochet often.  I make soap.  I don't see things changing so that we always do these things.  My goal is MORE.

BUT my kids watch Netflix sometimes.  We eat packaged food occasionally.  One of my children eats cold cereal on a pretty regular basis.  We still have two cars, and while we bike more than we used to, we use our cars as our primary mode of transportation.  I have and use my dishwasher.  I have and use my clothes dryer.  I don't see things changing that we never do these things.  My goal is LESS. 

So there it is.  Basically, the blog is going to be about me and my family Simply Living and Simply Loving.  Maybe that should be my blog title? LOL