Just so I don't have just one post for August

It has been a busy summer.  Busier than most since I started working in mid-May, although my contract is set to end after tomorrow, so I may have some free time coming up soon. 

It has been nice to be working full-time again.  Especially money-wise.  And it has been nice to be working in my field again.

But it has been really hard too.  It is hard to get the grocery shopping done.  And the laundry, and the dishes.  And the garden has been neglected. And now it is preserving season, and I've only done a little bit so far because I'm so swamped with work.  I didn't see my kids much this summer. 

School started last week, and so far things are going well.  Super is in 2nd grade, Jelly Bean is in 5th, and Flower is in 7th.  They all like their teachers and have classes with their friends.  I think that this is the best start to a school year that we have ever had.

Both Super and Jelly Bean are on a competitive swim team this year and that keeps our evenings busy.  Flower is doing piano, and they are all in Youth Choir again.  Oh, and Flower has Drama Club and Team Quest (scholastic club) again. 

Mr. Simple is still painting, although he recently applied for a full time job in his previous field.  We are sort of hoping that he gets it.  I'm looking for another contract or a full-time job.  It would be great if I could get a part-time contract again, but I don't see that happening.

I have a birthday type of post (it was my birthday on the 27th!) but it isn't done yet.  Maybe next week. 

You've got a friend?

When I was a child, I was the type of kid who got along with everyone, but only had a couple close friends.  When I was a teenager, I still got along with everyone, but I rarely did anything outside of school with anyone but the 9 other people in my group of friends.  I went to school, and mostly hung out with my roommates, but we weren't really "close" friends, and we would always lose touch after the year was over.  I started working and again, I got along with others, but I never did anything with anyone outside of work.  I got married.  And then mostly did things with Mr. Simple. 

I do have about 175 friends on Facebook.  People that I've known from past jobs. People that I've met in the past 10 years. People from childhood. 

But, at least 50 of the people on Facebook that I am friends with, I have NEVER met in person.  Most of them, I "met" online many, many years ago.  It was early 1998, and I had just had my first miscarriage.  I didn't know anyone in "real life" who had gone through a miscarriage, besides my mother, and so I went searching to find if there was anyone out there.  And there was.  And the women that I met under sad circumstances then, well, we have watched each other's lives over the past 14 years as we had more children, got divorced, had medical problems, had spouses die, etc.  I've asked for advice and given advice over the years.  My friendship with these women has been/is very important to me. 

But then there is my real life. 

I've gone in waves with "real life" friends.  When I had my first child, but I was working full-time, I had very few friends.  When I started teaching preschool in the morning, and had my afternoons "free", it made my schedule much more flexible.  I could do the park, I could do playdates, I could do the museum, etc.  I had more friends, but it was often just women who had kids the same ages as mine. 

But my kids started growing up.  We were homeschooling and I didn't see other moms at school. I was doing daycare, and couldn't really get out to other activities.  So my circle of "moms with kids" friends grew smaller.  Last year, my kids all went back to public school and so I do have some women that I've met because of that, but only one or two that I've done things outside of school, and that was because my child had been friends with their child since Kindergarten, etc.

Also, for most of my life, I was very involved at church.  And there were many opportunities at the church we attended to be with adults, particularly women. I enjoyed talking to these women about all sorts of things - church things, kid things, fashion things LOL I had a large-ish group of women from church that I would do things with outside of church - baby showers, girls night out, movies, that sort of thing. I had been hanging out with some of them for over 10 years.

And then, we decided recently, for reasons that I will NOT be going into on this blog, to stop attending this church. And it has been difficult, at best, to maintain friendships with these women, if for no other reason, because I am not attending many of the same activities as they are anymore.  So my circle of "women from church" friends has greatly diminished. We are attending another church, and the people at the new church are nice and friendly, but there has only been one woman who I have really talked to at any point outside of church. 

When I was doing preschool and daycare, there were plenty of days that talking to the parents would be my only form of adult conversation that I had that day, outside of conversations with my husband. But then I decided to quit last March so that I could focus on my Simply Living In The City business and my freelance writing and training business.

And now, I meet people through my Simply Living In The City business, and that is great, especially since I love talking about Simple stuff and hearing about how other people are trying to live that way, but for the most part, it has not led to any sort of friendships that involved getting together outside of a Simply Living In The City class or whatever. 

I meet people through my freelance writing and training jobs, and that is nice too.  But when it is at home/offsite work, it is really difficult to have much interaction. And when it is at a client site, well, work is busy, and I just have never felt comfortable in establishing friendships with work colleagues outside of work anyway.  So I don't have (and never really have had) friendships with people that I met at work. 

Which means, right now, I have very, very few "real life" friends.  At least the kind that you could say "Hey, I don't have anything going on tonight, do you want to go to a movie?" or "Let's take the kids to the pool today" sort of friends.  Or "I just need to vent about something" sort of friends. 

I know that friendship, in general changes, over the years.  As an adult, with children, with work, with a spouse, etc., time to do things with friends is usually quite limited.  That is true for me, and most people that are around my age.  I know that your relationship with your family is and should be more important than your relationship with friends. 

But sometimes - well, to be really honest, I'm on a roll, so I might as well keep going LOL - Often, I miss having "real life" friends.  I miss the days of going to movies, going to dinner.  I miss the days of hanging out with our kids at the park, at the pool.  I miss talking about church. I miss talking about parenting.  I miss talking about fashion.  I miss just talking out loud about life to someone besides my husband.

And trust me, there are times when Mr. Simple really wishes I had someone to talk to about life besides him.  :)

My blog gets so neglected in the summer

And I'd go on about why it gets neglected, but if you have read my blog for any length of time, or if you know me at all, then you know that my children are on the summer parks and rec swim team.  And taking the kids to practice and meets for swim team takes up a big bulk of my time in the summer. 

And if that wasn't enough, Flower just finished up acting the summer parks and rec outdoor production of Les Miserables.  She tried out in May and got a part in the Children's Ensemble.  She LOVED it.  She did a great job - in fact everyone in the production did a great job.  They started practice in Mid May and then started performing the last weekend of June and the first two weekends in July.  There would have been 12 performances, but we have been suffering through a dreadful heat wave/drought and the performance had to be cancelled on one night, so they "only" ended up having 11 performances. 

AND, Jelly Bean was also doing long course events for her competitive swim team, which included a few travel meets.  And she was also practicing with this team about 16 hours a week, in addition to the 4 hours a week practicing with her summer team. 

Oh, and I got a different job!  I was contacted in mid June by a contracting company who wanted to hire me on an 8 week contract to do technical writing.  So still working full-time, but a) I have the flexibility to work from home a couple days a week b) the pay is much better and c) it is doing something that I enjoy MUCH better than what I was doing before. 

But today, we finished summer swim team with a WIN at swim team conference, and Flower finished up her play last weekend.  I'm still working for another month, but like I said, I have more flexibility than I did earlier in the summer. 

So things SHOULD be calming down.  We will see what happens.  It seems like I will say something like that and then, poof, I'll be crazy busy for some reason. But in theory, I should be calming down and I can devote more time to the blog.  Let's see if that actually happens :)

You'd think that I would have an empty house

It seems like every year - heck, every other month, I get rid of a bunch of stuff. As in multiple bags of stuff.  Most of it I either give or sell, but some of it (especially some from a certain couple of girls' room) is just actual trash.  Well, maybe some of it is recycling.  But not anything that I can actually sell or give away.  I've had several garage sales. 

But yet, it never seems to ever really end.  We just did some a lot of rearranging of furniture around here - a bed from Super's room went down to the girls' room and was turned into a funky tween couch.  The art shelf was taken out of the dining room and put in the family room.  The old kitchen table was moved out of the girls room (we put it there for them to use as a desk, but it mostly just became a place to put stuff that they didn't want to put away LOL) and brought into the family room, and the old card table was put in the garage.  The second TV from the family was moved to the studio because we are going to use the bed, etc. in the studio as a guest room instead of my room.  We bought a new to us dresser for the girls, and moved one of their old dressers into the studio.  We bought a new tall bookcase for the girls' room and moved the two small ones to Super's room. 

And so by doing all that rearranging, we got rid of a lot of stuff.

And then, I'm finally selling the rest of the things that I still had from when I was still running Montgomery Academy.  So things that I had put in one of the storage closet had to be gone through, taken pictures of, post pictures, etc. and then mailed. 

And by doing all that, I got rid of a lot of stuff. 

Oh, and a couple months ago, I went through all my papers and books that I accumulated in college and got rid of most of it. 

You would seriously think that I should live in an empty house by now.  I'm not sentimental.  I don't hold on to things unless they are functional.  I am much more brutal about things than the rest of my family, but yet, it isn't like the rest of them should be on Hoarders or anything. 

But yet, I'm sure that come this time next month, I'll have a trunk full of things to take to Goodwill and a full recycling container and a full trash container. I'm starting to think that maybe someone sneaks into my house and drops off stuff so that I never actually get to the end of it.

I'm kidding.  Mostly :)

July 2012 - What is my garden up to?

I'll try and post some pictures here later today, but I at least wanted to get the report done (because if I don't do it now, it probably won't get done!)

Well, the herb garden is doing well.  I haven't had time to do much to take care of it, and there are tons of herbs that I really need to harvest, but I don't have time to do anything with them - most of them I dry - and so there just out there growing away.  I'm not sure I can remember all of the herbs I've got out there, but here's most of them - stevia, cilantro, parsley, tarragon, thyme (used this as a ground cover along the border, and this is growing like gangbusters!) basil, lemon verbena, dill, sage, rosemary, lavender, oregano, spearmint, peppermint, chocolate mint, marjoram, sage, and chives. 

On the north side of the house, I planted a three zucchini plants, and it looks like I might get zucchini off all of them this year.  There are two zucchinis on one plant that are about a day from being ready to pick.  I also planted a perennial flower garden on this side.  It is doing o.k.  It has been crazy hot for weeks now, and hardly any rain, and I only water a couple of days a week.  Next year, I'm doing drip irrigation, but for now, it is just the sprinkler, and so the flowers in particular aren't doing great.  But I'm hoping for the best.  There are 6 plants in the bed now, and I plan on adding 4-6 more in the bed next year.

Along the fence on the north side, I have two containers - one has two butternut squash plants with lattice behind it for it to climb, and then the other container has two melon plants with lattice behind it to climb.  The squash is doing o.k., slow but steady growth.  The melon, well, it might be dead.  I haven't looked in the past few days, but it isn't growing really.  I think I planted them too early and then it got too hot, etc. 

The four boxes along the west end are doing o.k.  Box 1 has onion and garlic.  I have garlic flowers coming up now, and so I will probably cut the scapes and make some garlic scape pesto this weekend.  The onions are plugging along.  Box 2 has some lettuce left in it that we need to eat up this week, and some HUGE swiss chard, celery, and 8 cucumber plants that are growing horizontally on garden netting.  I think I might actually get cucumbers this year! I planted marigolds or some kind of flowers by any of the plants that flowered, and I think that helped to bring in the pollinators, etc.  Box 3 has peppers and tomatoes.  I have small tomatoes on the plants, and I have banana peppers ready to pick.  The green peppers are slowly but surely growing.  Box 4 has green beans.  I'm not sure what is going on there.  I've got leaves, but I haven't seen blossoms or any indication of beans.  I planted them well over a month ago. 

The strawberry patch had some strawberries in it this year, but I didn't get as much as I'd hoped.  I probably got a quart total.  But about half of them are the everlasting kind, so hopefully I'll get another quart in the fall. 

I'm planning on a fall garden this year - at the very least, I'm doing broccoli, peas, and spinach. 

I've got BIG plans for the garden next year.  I'm putting in 4 new beds - one for potatoes, one for cabbage and broccoli, one for greens (this one may actually be a cold frame instead of just a raised bed), and one for blueberries.  I'm also moving the peas to a different area and putting netting or fencing in between the rows instead of doing bamboo teepees in one of the boxes.  I'm also planning on planting more peas in general next year.  I'm planting grapes and a pear, an apple, and cherry tree next year. Oh, and asparagus.  I totally meant to plant it this year, but the spring just got away from me.  As always LOL, I plan on doing better with successive planting and getting a spring, summer, and fall crop out of as many of the beds as possible.  I'm also putting in a drip irrigation system. 

I'm super tempted to start a front yard garden too, but I think I'll wait another year after that.  Check with the HOA and the city over the next year, and get all those ducks in a row before I do it.  However, if nothing else, I do plan on adding some more perennial and native plants in the front yard.

So my 12 year old daughter and I were talking today

about music, and she wanted me to change the station to something that had "better music" than what I was listening to.  (I actually don't listen to music on the radio that much anymore.  Or FM for that matter.) And then she asked me why I listened to "old" music.  LOL So I said, "Well, I don't ALWAYS listen to old music.  I do listen to some music that was produced in the past year or so.  But yes, in general, I don't listen to popular music.  But you know what would be weird? If I did listen to popular music all the time.  And wore all the popular fashions. And followed all the popular trends.  Because you know what I'm not young anymore. It would make me odd if I was trying to follow all the stuff."

And then I added, you know, because I always feel the need to throw stuff like this in "And you know what else, by the time you are in your 40s, you just don't care as much anymore about what is popular, or what other people think. Or maybe that is just your Mom."  She got a good laugh out of that last part.

But most of that is true.  Now that I'm almost on the downside of my 40s (I'll be 46 in August), I find that I am not that concerned about other people's opinion of me.  I mean, I'm not rude about it.  I don't go out and flaunt my opinions all day long, and I don't like being argumentative either, so I don't like getting into disagreements about my opinions vs. other people's opinions , but I am comfortable in how I  live my life.

And how does this tie into Simple Life? A lot actually.  It was around the time that I started changing about how we lived that I started feeling like I wanted to live a more authentic life too.  I wanted to do things, Simple Things, not because everybody was doing it/not doing it, etc.  I wanted to do it because it felt right for me and my family.  It gave me a sense of happiness and peace. 

It also kind of ties into the fact that living a simple life IS more "popular" now.  When we first started living like this, I felt like I was in the minority.  I didn't know many people who wanted to be more self-sufficient.  I didn't know that many people who were into thrifting and recycling or sewing and crocheting.  I didn't know that many people who went to Farmer's market.  I didn't know that many "regular" people who also cared about eating certain organic foods.  Or fair-trade products.  But now? I know tons.  Part of it is that over the years, I've discovered more people who live like we do.  But part of it is that just more people in general (I believe in large part in reaction to the economy) have become interested in being more self-sufficient.

But whether it is "popular" or not to live like this, I think that I'm in it for the long haul now.  I can't imagine going back at this point.  Like I said, it gives me a sense of happiness and peace.  And happiness and peace? I take that feeling any day of the week.

Well, just so you know

It isn't all that "simple" going from stay at home mom to working mom.  Granted, I've only been doing it 2.5 weeks, but it has been a challenge.

I think it would have been a challenge anyway I would have done it but here are a few things that I've learned so far.

1- If you have to be at work at 7 am, and your kids have to be at morning swim team practice and your spouse is dropping the kids off, you should have something available that the kids can eat quickly before they leave, and then they can eat something more substantial when they get back.  For us, most days, it has been smoothies.  I usually fix them before I leave, right before I wake the kids up, and they drink them before they leave.  But it took me a few days to really work this out.  I also need to have other quick breakfast options, in case someone doesn't want a smoothie, because there won't be time for say, eggs or something, before they have to leave.

2-Speaking of food, I should have prepared more dinners ahead of time.  It was a rough first week because I was working that week until 4:30 pm (my regular schedule now is 7 am to 3:30) and not getting home until almost 5 and people were starving and all I wanted to do was relax, not rush around trying to find something quick to cook.

3-Again, speaking of food, I should have got more groceries to have on hand before I started working.  At least some options that were a little more simple to prepare - things that Mr. Simple can fix quickly or the children can do.  However, there is a fine line between easy and "fast food" though, and it is a bit of a struggle for me still to have healthy food on hand that is substantial enough for a meal and easy for everyone to prepare. 

4- Laundry.  Ugh.  I swear we go through more clothes than the average family of five.  I feel like I'm always doing laundry.  Of course, we use yarn dishcloths, cloth napkins, and cloth paper towels too, and that contributes to it.  But I MUST do at least a load of laundry every evening, and then stress to the children that it needs to get put away while I am at work the next day.  (One interesting thing that at least early on, having Mr. Simple "remind" the children about their chores seems to be going well.  They do their chores much more willingly and quicker than when I'm assigning the chores.)

5-Dishes are the same thing as laundry.  I must load the dishwasher before I go to bed, and I have to unload it in the morning before I leave.  Otherwise, it just is a problem. 

6-I am very slowly trying to let go of some of my control issues concerning the house.  I like things done a certain way, and I like things to be tidy most of the time, etc. and I have to realize that it probably happen totally like that.  I am going to try and get some improvement over the course of the summer, but I will probably have to deal with things being little less than how I would have it be if I were here. 

7-I am very grateful for the garden again this year.  And I'm thrilled that it is right outside my door.  It enables me to go out and do things after dinner or on the weekend.  It enables us to have ultra fresh salads and strawberries for dessert.  If I had still been garden at church plot, I am sure that it would already be full of weeds because the last thing that I want to do in the evenings is drive across town.  But being able to just walk 25-50 feet? I can handle that.

8-I have not yet learned how to balance working full-time and maintaining Simply Living In The City.  I haven't blogged over at Simply Living In The City for weeks now, and I have even been kind of hit and miss at the Facebook page.  And I was supposed to reschedule the May class for last weekend, and that didn't happen. I'm hopeful to still be able to do a June class though. 

9-I sit quite a bit at my job, and I'm totally not used to that.  I've found that I have to walk the (10 flights) of stairs a few times a day so that I don't feel like such a slug.  I'd love to be able to figure out some time to do more traditional exercise, but with full time work and the kids with their very full summer schedule and all their drop offs and pick-ups, and laundry and dishes, and meals, well, I haven't yet figured out when I could fit in a run or going to the gym. 

10-I'm driving my car back and forth to work because I need to be home in enough time to take the kids to evening practices, but starting in the fall, I'll be able to bike or ride the bus to my job.  I'm pretty excited about it! I've never been able to use public transportation or bike as my regular form of transportation.