So my 12 year old daughter and I were talking today

about music, and she wanted me to change the station to something that had "better music" than what I was listening to.  (I actually don't listen to music on the radio that much anymore.  Or FM for that matter.) And then she asked me why I listened to "old" music.  LOL So I said, "Well, I don't ALWAYS listen to old music.  I do listen to some music that was produced in the past year or so.  But yes, in general, I don't listen to popular music.  But you know what would be weird? If I did listen to popular music all the time.  And wore all the popular fashions. And followed all the popular trends.  Because you know what I'm not young anymore. It would make me odd if I was trying to follow all the stuff."

And then I added, you know, because I always feel the need to throw stuff like this in "And you know what else, by the time you are in your 40s, you just don't care as much anymore about what is popular, or what other people think. Or maybe that is just your Mom."  She got a good laugh out of that last part.

But most of that is true.  Now that I'm almost on the downside of my 40s (I'll be 46 in August), I find that I am not that concerned about other people's opinion of me.  I mean, I'm not rude about it.  I don't go out and flaunt my opinions all day long, and I don't like being argumentative either, so I don't like getting into disagreements about my opinions vs. other people's opinions , but I am comfortable in how I  live my life.

And how does this tie into Simple Life? A lot actually.  It was around the time that I started changing about how we lived that I started feeling like I wanted to live a more authentic life too.  I wanted to do things, Simple Things, not because everybody was doing it/not doing it, etc.  I wanted to do it because it felt right for me and my family.  It gave me a sense of happiness and peace. 

It also kind of ties into the fact that living a simple life IS more "popular" now.  When we first started living like this, I felt like I was in the minority.  I didn't know many people who wanted to be more self-sufficient.  I didn't know that many people who were into thrifting and recycling or sewing and crocheting.  I didn't know that many people who went to Farmer's market.  I didn't know that many "regular" people who also cared about eating certain organic foods.  Or fair-trade products.  But now? I know tons.  Part of it is that over the years, I've discovered more people who live like we do.  But part of it is that just more people in general (I believe in large part in reaction to the economy) have become interested in being more self-sufficient.

But whether it is "popular" or not to live like this, I think that I'm in it for the long haul now.  I can't imagine going back at this point.  Like I said, it gives me a sense of happiness and peace.  And happiness and peace? I take that feeling any day of the week.

Aww, that made me smile!

I've been very busy teaching this week - first I taught four workshops out at the local community college - Monday was Reduce/Reuse/Recycle, Tuesday was Starting Seeds, Wednesday was Energy Efficiency, and Thursday was Green Transportion. 

At the end, the director of the Green Institute, the one who had hired me to do the workshops, asked me to also do a mini-session on Preserving Food and Soapmaking (in preparation for the classes I'll be teaching for community ed in the fall.) I said Sure, I'd love too.  She said that "It is nice to see someone who is so passionate and is willing to share it!"

And that made me smile.

And then tonight, Friday, I had my monthly Simply Living In The City class, and today's class was on breadmaking.  I demonstrated no-knead bread, traditional bread, and brown rice bread, and then we tested it, and then we chatted.  It was great fun.

Afterwards, one of the people from the class sent me a message.  She said "We had a great time tonight. Thank you so much for sharing your passion."

And that made me smile. 

I AM passionate about simply living, but I think that I'm more passionate about teaching.  Teaching really brings me joy.  I've been happiest in my career for the longest when I was teaching people how to do something.  And not because I'm all that and a bag of chips because I'm not.  I'm just me, and I just do things because they make me happy, but it also makes me happy to teach others about doing those things. 

And when I'm happy, I smile. :)

Don't Worry. Be Happy.

I haven't been what I would call "happy" for a long time until fairly recently. I do remember being happy for most of elementary school . I didn't have a ton of friends, but I was well-liked, if that makes sense. Then I went to junior high and high school. I was NOT happy for most of that time. Part of me not being happy was just teenage drama, some of it was more teenage girl liking teenage boy drama, but most of it was because I was in a group of other kids and we just hung out with each other and there was just all kinds of odd drama that happened with our group over the years.

And then I went to college in 1984, and The Boy died three weeks into my freshman year and I was terribly sad for two years after that, and mostly sad for at least another 3 or 4 years past that.

And then I got to a place where I wasn't happy, but I wasn't sad. And I stayed like that for awhile. Then I had my first miscarriage in early 1998 and I was terribly sad for a year. And then back to the not happy/not sad on and off for a few years, and then 2006 was a bad year, and then 2008, well, that year was just truly AWFUL. If there was any reason to be sad about anything, it was probably happening to me that year. I was still pretty sad during 2009, but something started happening to me during 2009. There was a little sparkle, somewhere, starting to glow inside of me. It had been so long since I'd been happy, I didn't even recognize it at first.

And then when I realized that I was starting to feel some happiness, at first it seemed odd. I wasn't sure what to do.

And then, it was so gradual at first, but I slowly figured out that there were a few reasons that I was feeling happy. In some areas of my life, I finally stopped thinking about myself so much (the poor me side and everything always happens bad to me side) and started thinking more about others. And doing more. And in other areas, I finally started thinking about myself more (the fat, out of shape, out of fashion side) and started doing more to make myself healthier.

And then I discovered other things that are helping me be happy: Trying to show love to others every day. Smiling more. Trying to live a good life. Sleeping more than 5 hours a night. Reconnecting with people. Sharing. Writing. Finding balance. Being Authentic. Listening to myself and following through. Following the rhythm of the seasons.

And although I still feel a twinge of sadness that I have been sad for so much of my life, I am also realizing that it was just part of the journey to get me Here. And I'm also not naive enough to think that I won't ever be sad again. But I also don't think that I'll spend 20-30 years with mostly NOT happy either. And that makes me happy. :)

Lessons Learned On The Journey Of Life

I was recently reading this article (Ensign, December 2000 - yes, I'm aware that it was a 9 year old issue, and no, it isn't a magazine that I still have at my house) by Joseph B. Wirthlin (who, just as an small aside, that I actually met. Anyway . . .)

He begins this article talking about a time around Christmas time, during his church mission in Germany, when he was discouraged. He decided to walk to Oberndorf, a little village in the Bavarian Alps. The beauty of that village was the inspiration for Joseph Mohr when he wrote "Silent Night." During that night, he talked with someone about his hopes and dreams for the future. They talked about goals. And it was that night, he resolved that he would not waste time, and he would serve the Lord. Sixty years have passed since that Christmas Eve and much happened in those years, but he never regretted making those resolutions, because it filled his life with adventures, spiritual experiences, and joy.

He says he knows that many people may be feeling discouraged or lost right now, or may wonder if his or her life will be a happy one. He goes on to quote Aristotle who suggested that everyone who lives has the same objective: To Be Happy. He said that after 80 years, he has some ideas on what it takes to be happy. He said that there are 5 things, that if a person takes these things seriously, and applies them to his or her life, that it will bring happiness, success, fulfillment, and eternal blessings.

1. Have Faith In Heavenly Father.
2. Set Righteous Goals.
3. Work to Accomplish Your Goals.
4. Magnify Your Service.
5. Enjoy The Journey.

The fifth point was the one that I enjoyed the most, and probably the one that I need the most reminding of to apply in my own life.

He said "So many of us are waiting to be happy. 'If only I could graduate, if only I could afford a car, if only I could get married . . . ' For too many, happiness is just over the horizon, never reachable . . . It is a terrible thing to always be waiting for tomorrow, always excusing our todays because we are sure that only in the future will we possess the things that will fulfill us. Don't wait for tomorrow. Don't wait for the right job, the right house, the right salary, the right dress size. Be happy today. Be happy now."

What would you do if you didn't have kids?

That's what Super asked me tonight - after a particularly long, tired, week.

I answered "Well, things would be cleaner longer, and I'd probably work at a job that wasn't at our house. But I probably would be more sad too."

"Why would you be more sad?" he said.

"Because I wouldn't have you and your two sisters. And most of the time, you make me very, very happy." I said.

"But not when I break stuff?" he asked.

"Yes. I am not very happy when you break stuff." I replied.

How to Be Happy

I've posted quotes about happiness before, I know, but here's another person's take on how to be happy.

"The prerequisite for happiness is the ability to get fully involved in life. If the material conditions are abundant, so much the better, but lack of wealth or health need not prevent one from finding flow in whatever circumstances one finds at hand. In fact, our studies suggest that children from the most affluent families find it more difficult to be in flow — compared with less well-to-do teenagers, they tend to be more bored, less involved, less enthusiastic, less excited."

It is a constant struggle for me between feeling overwhelmed with my involvement in life, and wanting to be have the least amount of involvement as possible to escape from life a bit.

— “If We Are So Rich, Why Aren’t We Happy?”, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, American Psychologist, vol. 54(10), Oct. 1999