Happy Birthday Christopher!

Three years. It was three years ago that Christopher was born. It was three years ago that he died. I can hardly believe that it has been three years.

I personally don't believe that Christopher died so that I could learn some lesson. That said, I think have learned some things from his death.

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I've learned that even though I hurt so deeply, and when I thought that there was no way that I could ever get through a day without breaking into gigantic sobs, that I could go on.

I've learned that there are others, many others, who have gone through this type of pregnancy loss. People that I never would have guessed came to me to share their story of pain and sorrow and showed me it was possible to find a "new" normal. A normal, where I would always remember him, but a normal where I could still work and play and still enjoy the good times of life.

I learned that people love me and my family. I have never felt such love and support as I did in the days and months after Christopher died. Often it was just a note or a hug letting me know that they cared. Often people said things like "I wish I knew what to say." And of course, there were no words, really. But their actions spoke so much more than words ever could.

I learned that everybody has bad things happen in their life. Maybe not the same bad things that have happened in my life, but few people get through life unscathed. And so when someone is doing something that I find aggravating, I try to remember that I don't know what has happened to them in their life. It helped me be more empathetic.

And I learned that life is about experience. And if people show me love and I show people love, just because, well, it makes getting through life just a tiny bit easier.

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Happy Birthday Christopher! I will always remember you. I'll always wish that it could have been different and that you could have been here with us. We love you.