Wednesday, May 18, 2011

So I had a dream a few weeks ago . . .

and you know it had to be memorable if I still remember it now. But anyway.

Oh, but before I go on, I MUST share that my 11 year old is trying to set a new world record in forgetfulness. Was I seriously that forgetful at 11? I mean, it is out of control. ANYWAY, back to the dream.

In my dream. I was having an interview with my old boss. The only boss that I've had twice - I was looking for a summer internship as a techical writer and Tim interviewed me and hired me as an intern for the summer of 1993. Then he asked me to stay on as on contract until August 1994. And then he hired me back in 1996 and I worked there until December 1997.

So back to my dream. I was having an interview with Tim. He was working someplace new. I was looking for a job and saw a position that looked like I would be qualified for, and I went to the interview and I was surprised to see him there. He told me about what he had been doing for the past 10+ years since I'd seen him and then he asked about me. I told him that I'd worked as a technical writer for another company for a year, and then as a trainer for 4 years, but I'd been teaching preschool/doing daycare/getting a masters degree/being a mom for most of that time.

And then he said it. "You know, I thought you would have done more with your life."

In my dream, I was crushed.

And then I woke up.

And I've been thinking about the dream. A lot.

I do think that what I've done since I last saw my old boss has been important. Especially the mom part.

And it has certainly helped me figure out that "just" having a career is not enough for me. Or is the most important thing to me.

My family is certainly "DOING MORE" in my eyes.

My family certainly is the most important thing to me.

And figuring out how to get through the past few years - emotionally, physically, mentally. That was "doing more" too.


(you knew there was a but)

it really has made me think more about my "career" too. It has made me think about why I went back to school to get a masters degree, and why it was important for me to finish. It has made me think about the skills that I have that don't involve talking to people that are under 5 feet and under 12 years years old.

And it has made me really think about finding a way to come as close as I can to having it all - a way to still spend time with my children, time forgardening/preserving/sewing/cooking, etc. AND time to do something with training/writing/teaching.

I'm pretty sure I have a plan too. I feel good about it - because now I am getting to be more purposeful with my life. Before, I worked because that is just what you did after you went to college. And then I worked at home because that is what you do when you get laid off and you have a two/three kids at home. I enjoyed it, but I didn't choose my path.

Now, I'm choosing. And I feel happy about the path that I'm choosing.

So thanks Tim. Even if you didn't really say it. And even though it was a mean thing to say. And even if it wasn't even true.

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