Thursday, May 17, 2012

Simple Life isn't necessarily Simple to do

Well, maybe if you didn't have kids.  Or maybe if you had more money.  But the more I try and live like this, and just, honestly, the older I get, I think that things are challenging no matter what.  People have different things that challenge them and different isn't easier or harder - just different.

Anyway, so I'm trying to get the house cleaned and a bunch of other things done that need to be done before I start my full time job next Monday.  (EEK!)  And it has been harder than I thought it would be for a bunch of reasons.

1 - I am suddenly lazy.  No, really.  Now, it is a big effort for me to not just go back to sleep after I get the kids off to school.  I don't have to look for a job.  I don't have to watch any kids. The only thing I "have" to do is clean the house and get those projects done, and the world won't come to an end if I don't do it.  And so every day for the last couple of weeks, I've been way more unproductive than usual. 

2 - I don't know if I just hit my limit or what, but oh my, I am just beyond sick of doing laundry and the dishes! Laundry and dishes have never been my favorite jobs anyway - they are daily jobs and so I never really get that whole "Look at what I did!" feeling from the dishes and laundry, because there is always, always more to do. 

3 - That money thing. Again.  It is harder than usual for me to prioritize lately because of the change in income over the last couple months.  I just kept thinking that things were just on the verge of really changing - I was going to get that high-paying full-time job.  Or that long-term freelance gig was going to start. Or we were going to win Powerball or something. :) And none of that happened.  And I had that mini-break down and then almost instantly, got a full-time job offer.  But it doesn't pay that well.  And it starts right at the very beginning of summer.  So I've been stressing about money and then stressing about the fact that I'll be bringing in money, but is it going to be worth the time, given the amount I'll bring in? And sometimes, when I stress, especially about money, then I'm just sort of paralyzed.

4 - The busyness of the end of school has been expecially hard this year.  I'd be just getting into a project, and then I'd have to stop because I was going to have to take someone somewhere for some performance of some sort and then the whole rest of the evening would be taken up with that.  I mean, don't get me wrong - I'm happy to watch my kids do things, and they are very talented, and I've been a really proud mother lately, but it has been hard to get other things done in between.  Not to mention, just the scheduling alone for 3 kids during that last couple weeks has been crazy!

So I haven't felt all relaxed and happy as I've been doing my homemaking these days.  I haven't been stress-free as I've tried to eliminate the clutter in my home.  I don't have pretty pictures of my bread or my living room or my garden because I either haven't done or haven't had time to concentrate on doing any of it. 

I'm hopeful that the structure of the job gets me back in my rhythm.  I know that I love structure - and probably most of my problem in time/stress/organization management right now is that I don't have structure.  I guess I do better when I'm Simply Structured?? LOL

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