Sometimes it is hard to let go and sometimes it's not

I'm getting ready to give my MIL a bunch of stuff for a garage sale. I've been pretty brutal this time. I'm trying to get rid of anything that we aren't using or that I don't love. And I'm even pretty brutal on the "love" stuff. I'm not overly sentimental. Which is good when you are trying to cut down on the amount of stuff you have.

I've never been one who held on to baby stuff - clothes or otherwise. I kept the kids coming home outfits and their baby blessing outfits and that's it. I don't usually keep more than about one size ahead of clothes, and I get rid of clothes they have outgrown as soon as they are done with it. I got rid of the crib when we were done, the high chair, the pack n play (it would have nice with doing daycare if I had kept the high chair and pack n play, but I didn't know at the time, and I picked them up for free, so no real loss). As my kids outgrow toys, unless it is a classic toy like blocks or wooden trains, cloth doll, etc., we give the toy away for someone else to love.

I go through the kids' school papers at the end of the year, and try and just pick one or two things from each month so you can see a progression, but I do NOT keep every scrap of paper.

I only have one tub of things that I've kept of things from babyhood until I got married.

I really try and do the one thing in/one thing out when we get gifts each year.

So I shouldn't have that much stuff, right? Well, like I said, I'm really trying to be brutal now. And I'm looking in every room, every closet, and every bookcase.

Which brings me to my problem area.

Not the books, although I suppose I probably have too many books too, but I'm getting rid of all the books that are not classics or that I'm currently not reading.

But I've got an almost full 5 shelf bookcase of books and binders from when I did my masters degree and some books from when I was working in technical writing. I've got project management books, I've got training books, I've got style guides. I've got 12 binders that contain my notes from courses. I've got my portfolio.

And I can't seem to get rid of it. I doubt that I'd even refer to the things in the binders. So I should get rid of them. The books are all at least 6 years old. I'm sure that the they are outdated. I should get rid of them. Some of the style guides are more like 10 years old. At least. I can't even remember the last time I used them, even when I was working as a technical writer. I should get rid of them.

But I can't. For some reason, to me, it means that I'll never be a trainer again. I'll never be a project manager again. I'll never be a technical writer again. And even though it isn't rational, to me, it means that I'm just throwing my masters degree away. It means that all my education was a waste. Like I said, it isn't rational. I know it isn't rational. But it is how I feel.

I was going to get rid of it anyway. I don't use it. I wouldn't say I love it. It is taking up space.

But I'm not going to. Not yet. I'm just not ready to let it go. I still haven't figured out where all that knowledge, all those skills fit in my future. When I figure that out, then I'll let it go.