Thursday, June 11, 2009

To Everything, Turn, Turn, Turn

I often say to myself "time and a season" to make myself feel better when I can't do everything that I want to do RIGHT NOW. And I'm really trying to appreciate my life, whatever it is, right now, because things change so fast. I already can't believe that it has been almost 10 whole years since Flower was born.

I was also thinking the other day about the actual seasons themselves. Anyone who has been around me over the past few years knows that I HATE to be cold. And so, since I've always lived where there is 4 seasons and there is a time of year when it is cold, I have mostly complained for the 12 weeks (oh, let's be honest, here in Illinois, it is never cold just for the 3 months of winter. It is often more like 16 weeks, sometimes close to 20) of winter. And longed for the lovely, warm, relaxing days of summer.

But over the last few years, I've really tried to embrace the nuances of each season and appreciate the seasons. I've tried to get out and really do things each season that help define the season. My children, by the way, love doing these sort of activities, and if we do it once, then it is a "tradition" and I have to do it the following year.

But I still haven't loved winter. I decided to at least try and stop complaining about the cold this year, and it did help. It didn't seem quite so long. Or cold.

The other night, I was at Super's baseball practice and I was watching other kids tossing a football, playing on the playground, having a picnic. I was thinking about how easy it was to be outside now - it is mostly warm now, and it stays light until around 9 pm. It just made me happy to see. I thought to myself "I should really try and get out every day in the winter too. We should make things in the snow, go on walks, look for tracks, and . . ." and then I stopped. Now, I'm not saying that those things aren't good things to do in the winter. I'm not saying that we won't do those things sometimes in the winter. But I was doing with the seasons what I try to do in my life. I want to do it all RIGHT NOW.

In case you hadn't realized it, it is harder to get outside in the winter. Especially if you have young children. What is easy is to cuddle together under blankets, make hot chocolate, and play board games for hours. It is easy to crochet while watching the kids make art. It is easy to watch the snow fall. And those aren't bad things. They are GOOD things. All of a sudden, I realized that I could love winter for being able to do these things instead of trying to love winter by trying to turn summer activities into things we could do in the winter.

And the things that I am doing now in my life aren't always the things that I thought I would be doing right now. But the things I've done in the past weren't the things I thought I'd be doing either. I'm sure that I won't be able to do all the things I want to do at a different point in the future. But it is o.k. Every season is different. And I think I'll be happier if I try to make it memorable instead trying to fit my idea of what it should be/what I want it to be.

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